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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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kitties

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kitties
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 December 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 45041
  • Number of comments : 186
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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kitties's favorite FMLs

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (7956) - you deserved it (1460)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent five dollars on a virtual cat. FML

#18774568 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (2673) - you deserved it (9903)

On 01/11/2012 at 11:33am - money - by bobbeta30 - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

#16166578 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (28830) - you deserved it (3041)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States

Today, I visited my vacation cabin. I've been planning to sell it, and it was in perfect condition when I last visited about 6 months ago. I walked in the door to find the floor covered in muddy pawprints and bloody remainders of meals. It appears some bears moved in during my absence. FML

#13313277 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (18368) - you deserved it (2143)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:46am - misc - by screwthewilderness (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my cat brought yet another chipmunk into our house. She never kills them, so they stay in our house until we either capture them or they escape. So far, she's brought in three squirrels, four chipmunks, four mice, and a snake. FML

#9805179 (398)

I agree, your life sucks (25165) - you deserved it (4661)

On 04/11/2010 at 3:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, it appears that my upstairs neighbour has decided to learn how to play the trombone. FML

#8585714 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (16005) - you deserved it (1587)

On 02/23/2010 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I grounded my daughter for putting play doh in the toaster. She's 17 and got into Columbia early admissions. FML

#8432968 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (17637) - you deserved it (3291)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by grrrrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

#7211272 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (18361) - you deserved it (2891)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:23am - misc - by StinkyCactus (man) - United States (Virginia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

#6753136 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (26696) - you deserved it (1430)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (5498) - you deserved it (17604)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML

#5620240 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (30136) - you deserved it (2411)

On 10/03/2009 at 11:34am - health - by Pwnedofthedead (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

#5529870 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (33767) - you deserved it (2170)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled 'hello'. There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML

#5073384 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (7829) - you deserved it (22827)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by cachow (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

#4330249 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (69481) - you deserved it (14724)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML

#4089919 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (10481) - you deserved it (29476)

On 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)