Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kitkat3308

Offline (yesterday at 1:00pm) | Search for a member

kitkat3308

33Fucked!

kitkat3308kitkat3308
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7473
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 12 posted

About kitkat3308 : Two FMLs published. Life is good! Err, well, not really.



:P

kitkat3308's page activity

Visits<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:37am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:51am<b>lulumars</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 1:27pm<b>bnapier</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:07pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:45am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 2:06am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:12pm<b>LeFrancaisRaleur</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 9:23pm<b>moron011</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 2:24pm<b>rainbow_llamas</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:39am<b>chrissapp</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 6:31am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 5:37am<b>lola4455</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 11:21pm<b>ASeeR</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 6:11pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:04am<b>bunkiii</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 8:12am<b>cutiegirl12326</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:36pm<b>PITSB</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:04pm

Fucked!<b>ASeeR</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 12:11am<b>LeFrancaisRaleur</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 7:49pm<b>jackroarrr</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 4:25am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 3:08am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 12:09am<b>Lesser</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:39am<b>zjay</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 6:25pm<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 5:36am<b>TonyMcF</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:37am<b>ccb1992</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:14pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 11:09am<b>lathbry</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 9:10pm<b>jjmack34</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:01am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 12:22am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:39pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 10:08am<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 8:48am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:11am

kitkat3308's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of kitkat3308's badges

kitkat3308's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24426) - you deserved it (4491)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28591) - you deserved it (3224)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

#21396226
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29194) - you deserved it (2898)

On 04/19/2015 at 1:09pm - animals - by woof? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML

#21383954
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27776) - you deserved it (1843)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:06am - work - by kitkat3308 - United States (Missouri)

Today, it's been almost two months that I've been taking hair, skin and nails vitamins. The only thing growing noticeably longer, faster, stronger, and healthier are my pubes. I've never sheared a sheep before, but I imagine the maintenance I just did was comparable. FML

#21368822
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26284) - you deserved it (16)

On 03/05/2015 at 6:34pm - health - by bushwhacker (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (246) - you deserved it (31941)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29052) - you deserved it (3337)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53038) - you deserved it (9049)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47941) - you deserved it (6607)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47201) - you deserved it (6134)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60249) - you deserved it (5148)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23300) - you deserved it (48159)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

#21128082
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24182) - you deserved it (35074)

On 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by Mortifiedcharityworker (woman) - Austria

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

#21115731
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37976) - you deserved it (3690)

On 04/17/2014 at 7:24pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40420) - you deserved it (12136)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: