Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kitkat3308

Offline (31 minutes ago) | Search for a member

kitkat3308

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4028
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About kitkat3308 : Hi, I'm Kim. I'm currently a senior in college studying criminology & criminal justice and psychology. Hopefully law school will be the next step for me following graduation. I studied abroad in Italy and would have stayed there forever given the opportunity. FML is probably my favorite form of entertainment, and I'm happy that I can finally cross getting one published off my to-do list.

kitkat3308's page activity

Visits<b>Semperfi92340</b> - yesterday at 12:07pm<b>UC_jrmnts</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:52am<b>Stealth_Pilot</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 8:05am<b>Emyame</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 5:06am<b>petrolhead</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:27pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:07pm<b>jessthebst</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 12:05am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 6:10am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 4:48pm<b>nomtard</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 7:10am<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:09am<b>RicanDucky</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 4:41pm<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:32pm<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 8:33pm<b>minutepoet</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:46pm<b>itzjstnx</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 4:28am<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:56am

kitkat3308's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

See all of kitkat3308's badges

kitkat3308's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46243) - you deserved it (7565)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46340) - you deserved it (6404)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46579) - you deserved it (6074)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58789) - you deserved it (5034)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22204) - you deserved it (46105)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

#21128082
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23628) - you deserved it (34236)

On 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by Mortifiedcharityworker (woman) - Austria

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

#21115731
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37222) - you deserved it (3608)

On 04/17/2014 at 7:24pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38239) - you deserved it (11418)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55712) - you deserved it (7034)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

#21082949
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43441) - you deserved it (4051)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML

#21078055
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48367) - you deserved it (5915)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by cockfist (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25290) - you deserved it (55482)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41379) - you deserved it (12483)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

#21024175
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45861) - you deserved it (5178)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:55am - love - by rollergirl13 - United States (Alaska)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: