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kissmyass23

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kissmyass23
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 663
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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kissmyass23's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML

#17874852
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27619) - you deserved it (2759)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm - kids - by jesus christ - United States

Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved out. Not even 24 hours being out of their house, some reject burned down the apartment complex I live in. Guess who's moving back home. FML

#17853037
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24961) - you deserved it (1609)

On 09/28/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by Foreverathome - United States (Texas)

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

#17661211
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29926) - you deserved it (2490)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm - work - by -- - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25412) - you deserved it (2796)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

#17584476
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28696) - you deserved it (3090)

On 08/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by christine brown - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

#17566014
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26775) - you deserved it (2482)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML

#17558329
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8485) - you deserved it (43194)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by Kendal - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I passed a kidney stone. This is the third one in two years. I'm only 23. FML

#17555427
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23778) - you deserved it (3614)

On 08/23/2011 at 3:30am - health - by Lorus (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

#17497586
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22122) - you deserved it (10492)

On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)

Today, while walking on the sidewalk, someone hit me with their car. They yelled at me for being in their way. FML

#17426296
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28533) - you deserved it (2728)

On 08/10/2011 at 3:22am - misc - by TheKunitzShow14 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML

#16657844
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31096) - you deserved it (3066)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:47am - misc - by lalala (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61489) - you deserved it (3349)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML

#16235054
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27937) - you deserved it (11312)

On 05/18/2011 at 6:57am - kids - by JCC (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30614) - you deserved it (2981)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

#15616538
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16404) - you deserved it (41612)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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