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kissmyass23's favorite FMLs
Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML
by jesus christ / 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm / United States / Kids
Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved out. Not even 24 hours being out of their house, some reject burned down the apartment complex I live in. Guess who's moving back home. FML
by Foreverathome / 09/28/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
by -- / 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by abby181 / 09/03/2011 at 10:36am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by christine brown / 08/26/2011 at 8:03am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/24/2011 at 4:03am / United States / Money
Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML
by Kendal / 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Lorus / 08/23/2011 at 3:30am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by TheKunitzShow14 / 08/10/2011 at 3:22am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
by lalala / 06/14/2011 at 6:47am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by aarone23 / 06/01/2011 at 9:30am / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation
by JCC / 05/18/2011 at 6:57am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by JJMan217 / 04/03/2011 at 3:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog… Today, I was trying to avoid one of our dogs while driving down the drive. Instead I crashed into a… Today, I was at drama club, rehearsing for a play I'm in. But I had to leave early and so I went up…
- Today, while on holiday in Morocco, I got arrested by a cop. “Sir, you were driving at 90 instead… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…