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Mobility
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Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24634) - you deserved it (1961)
On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7058) - you deserved it (31860)
On 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by Kendal - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I passed a kidney stone. This is the third one in two years. I'm only 23. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23280) - you deserved it (3569)
On 08/23/2011 at 3:30am - health - by Lorus (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19124) - you deserved it (8243)
On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)
Today, while walking on the sidewalk, someone hit me with their car. They yelled at me for being in their way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26544) - you deserved it (2187)
On 08/10/2011 at 3:22am - misc - by TheKunitzShow14 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27769) - you deserved it (2391)
On 06/14/2011 at 6:47am - misc - by lalala (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56904) - you deserved it (2685)
On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was babysitting a three year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25643) - you deserved it (10717)
On 05/18/2011 at 6:57am - kids - by JCC (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (2439)
On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -
Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16139) - you deserved it (41069)
On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39432) - you deserved it (4774)
On 03/18/2011 at 9:36pm - animals - by SpideyFace (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20997) - you deserved it (6385)
On 03/06/2011 at 8:48pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30732) - you deserved it (5360)
On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boss lectured me on the evils of alcohol and how it was 'prohibited' during the 1980s. I said nothing because he hates being corrected. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19587) - you deserved it (2745)
On 03/02/2011 at 10:28am - work - by Squinty6 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17804) - you deserved it (36500)
On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)
Monday 20 May 2013
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