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kissmyass23

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kissmyass23

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  • Number of visits : 936
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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kissmyass23's favorite FMLs

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

#18633962
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29637) - you deserved it (21231)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, someone nearly hit me with their car, so I flipped them the finger. They turned back around and tried to run me over. FML

#18585718
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26231) - you deserved it (9177)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by badidea - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went caroling with some family friends. We got pelted with oranges. FML

#18585273
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15262) - you deserved it (19700)

On 12/23/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

#18553148
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24288) - you deserved it (2901)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by This girl (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

#18542050
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47486) - you deserved it (2171)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States

Today, my downstairs neighbor had a home birth. Not only did I hear eighteen hours of uninterrupted screaming, they called me afterwards, asking if I could come over to help them clean up. FML

#18520705
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35527) - you deserved it (2390)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:43pm - health - by Kara - United States (New York)

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were talking about childhood memories. He told me about a girl he made fun of in middle school. That was me. FML

#18479280
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36565) - you deserved it (3498)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

#18468865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31831) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

#18444089
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43212) - you deserved it (4704)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML

#18443890
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25340) - you deserved it (6856)

On 12/06/2011 at 9:33am - health - by aceshot97 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML

#18442562
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30536) - you deserved it (7496)

On 12/06/2011 at 2:03am - money - by BrokeandDesperate (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41056) - you deserved it (16596)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34778) - you deserved it (11613)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12533) - you deserved it (56870)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16601) - you deserved it (24112)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka



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