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Mobility
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Today, my downstairs neighbor had a home birth. Not only did I hear eighteen hours of uninterrupted screaming, they called me afterwards, asking if I could come over to help them clean up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29411) - you deserved it (1742)
On 12/15/2011 at 4:43pm - health - by Kara - United States (New York)
Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were talking about childhood memories. He told me about a girl he made fun of in middle school. That was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30660) - you deserved it (2572)
On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25726) - you deserved it (2004)
On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35828) - you deserved it (3564)
On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I saw a 10 dollar bill on the street, as I went to grab it, it was pulled away by a string. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I was tricked by teenagers or that I tripped and fell as I went for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20391) - you deserved it (5311)
On 12/06/2011 at 9:33am - health - by aceshot97 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (5676)
On 12/06/2011 at 2:03am - money - by BrokeandDesperate (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34096) - you deserved it (11974)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27980) - you deserved it (8708)
On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9781) - you deserved it (43123)
On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13029) - you deserved it (16348)
Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML
I agree, your life sucks (24793) - you deserved it (2570)
On 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm - kids - by jesus christ - United States
Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved out. Not even 24 hours being out of their house, some reject burned down the apartment complex I live in. Guess who's moving back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24345) - you deserved it (1586)
On 09/28/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by Foreverathome - United States (Texas)
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26807) - you deserved it (2263)
Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22932) - you deserved it (2208)
On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24303) - you deserved it (2294)
On 08/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by christine brown - United States (Oklahoma)
Friday 24 May 2013
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