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kissmyass23

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kissmyass23
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 172
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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kissmyass23's favorite FMLs

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26306) - you deserved it (2719)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31415) - you deserved it (2150)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML

#18804731
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19819) - you deserved it (10111)

On 01/14/2012 at 11:14am - misc - by Julez - United States (Texas)

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

#18784375
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10649) - you deserved it (16405)

On 01/12/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Armagh)

Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML

#18778131
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26358) - you deserved it (2965)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML

#18725353
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29056) - you deserved it (3174)

On 01/06/2012 at 11:16am - health - by Ixi_the_pixie - United States

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

#18721494
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26173) - you deserved it (2346)

On 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31510) - you deserved it (3750) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26866) - you deserved it (6970)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

#18661455
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43590) - you deserved it (7674)

On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

#18633962
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24030) - you deserved it (15815)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, someone nearly hit me with their car, so I flipped them the finger. They turned back around and tried to run me over. FML

#18585718
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20341) - you deserved it (6838)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by badidea - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went caroling with some family friends. We got pelted with oranges. FML

#18585273
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11736) - you deserved it (13908)

On 12/23/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

#18553148
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19259) - you deserved it (2096)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by This girl (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

#18542050
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40317) - you deserved it (1581)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States



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