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kissmyass23's favorite FMLs
by BrianTheLion89 / 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy
by ladylarni / 04/07/2012 at 4:20am / Australia / Love
by still learning / 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
by amythest / 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids
by fuck teh poleese / 02/12/2012 at 4:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a twelve week dry spell followed by an eight week one, I decided to take a bit more initiative at seducing my girlfriend. Not only was she "not in the mood" again, but she offered me Trident Layers gum instead. She apparently thought that it was a fair trade. FML
by dasnich / 02/04/2012 at 10:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
by aliezzedine / 02/02/2012 at 6:32am / Lebanon / Miscellaneous
by sorrygrandma / 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by givingup / 01/30/2012 at 12:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by tannarox / 01/28/2012 at 10:46am / United States (California) / Animals
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I had planned a pig eye dissection with my students. I didn’t think it was possible to have… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…