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Mobility
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Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17975) - you deserved it (5167)
On 07/27/2012 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Ostfold)
Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19187) - you deserved it (1509)
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20466) - you deserved it (1382)
On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19126) - you deserved it (1401)
On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18324) - you deserved it (1332)
On 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm - misc - by bitchimgay (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17936) - you deserved it (3069)
On 07/21/2012 at 4:00am - kids - by It was the 11 year old - United States (Texas)
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13451) - you deserved it (17784)
On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24582) - you deserved it (1687)
On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States
Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4461) - you deserved it (51329)
On 07/19/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28638) - you deserved it (2350)
On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15130) - you deserved it (1980)
On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16709) - you deserved it (4580)
On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23740) - you deserved it (2623)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17722) - you deserved it (6807)
On 07/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Aaron Lewis - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6213) - you deserved it (34261)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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