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kissaoneal13

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kissaoneal13
  • Town/Country : Dallas, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 September 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 800
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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kissaoneal13's favorite FMLs

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45716) - you deserved it (16290)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49696) - you deserved it (2741)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44620) - you deserved it (7901)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44194) - you deserved it (20774)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

#20824199
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48509) - you deserved it (4235)

On 08/06/2013 at 5:55pm - love - by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard (woman) - United States

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

#20824090
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53931) - you deserved it (4435)

On 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm - love - by (._. ) (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

#20823686
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53507) - you deserved it (12884)

On 08/06/2013 at 11:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

#20823279
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41982) - you deserved it (8041)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after learning that my wife has been cheating on me, I decided to distract myself by playing The Sims. Not long after I began, my Sim's wife basically started cheating on him. FML

#20816365
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49944) - you deserved it (4927)

On 08/02/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

#20815318
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53239) - you deserved it (5066)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by countryblumpkin (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49442) - you deserved it (7868)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48224) - you deserved it (10776)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 4 perfectly happy years together. The reason? He had a dream in which his dead former girlfriend from when he was 13 told him she still loved him. He now believes his dead childhood sweetheart is trying to contact him and I'm "in the way of their love." FML

#20805936
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56520) - you deserved it (3967)

On 07/27/2013 at 3:56am - love - by Immaculatedream (woman) - New Zealand

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61789) - you deserved it (6196)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML

#20803453
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41319) - you deserved it (7872)

On 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - South Africa



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