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kissaoneal13

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kissaoneal13
  • Town/Country : Dallas, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 September 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 783
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kissaoneal13's favorite FMLs

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

#19472995
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30037) - you deserved it (1826)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11630) - you deserved it (51472) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

#19450302
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8441) - you deserved it (30602)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, I got more happy birthday wishes on my porn account than my Facebook. FML

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23291) - you deserved it (6312)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was opening a present my boyfriend got me for my 21st birthday. What I unwrapped was a Kay jewelers box. Excited, I opened it to find a ring made out of a one dollar bill. FML

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23689) - you deserved it (7492)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17092) - you deserved it (18484)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML

#19138431
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5298) - you deserved it (33696)

On 02/22/2012 at 11:47am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

#19130391
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24249) - you deserved it (7904)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23466) - you deserved it (3737)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19439) - you deserved it (1824)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

#19040540
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6560) - you deserved it (22236)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:13am - animals - by Stung (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I made a Sim of myself and had her work out until she was completely fit, then got her a job and a husband. Meanwhile, I sat at my desk, fat, single and jobless. FML

#19013496
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13494) - you deserved it (35740)

On 02/06/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36923) - you deserved it (8388)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)



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