Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kire

Search for a member

kire
  • Town/Country : Netherlands
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 10 May 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 3125
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kire's last visitors

69someone69yasmina212fubar88RainbowsareshinyTriholynemesis1208

kire's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

kire's favorite FMLs

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
532 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197064) - you deserved it (20880)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (227082) - you deserved it (29234)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
859 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49392) - you deserved it (598166)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent a solid four hours and over one hundred dollars preparing a nice fancy meal for my new girlfriend. A delicious three pound rack of ribs with a sweet and sour marinade. Steam broccoli with melted cheese. Home made buttermilk biscuits. I serve the meal. She doesn't eat beef. FML

#374506
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26012) - you deserved it (60758)

On 03/16/2009 at 5:55am - misc - by WhatdyaDo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

#245374
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59846) - you deserved it (18350)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by lovewedge (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I called to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said 'Mommy, I don't want to leave.' She wasn't talking to me. FML

#234756
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123904) - you deserved it (7728)

On 03/07/2009 at 3:15pm - kids - by divorced (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

#185266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54855) - you deserved it (9691)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML

#53082
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8577) - you deserved it (63827)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML

#36219
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38714) - you deserved it (7208)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by shinoza (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

#29912
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (152574) - you deserved it (44633)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)

Today, a customer at one of my tables left his phone number and a smiley face on the credit card slip. I was completely flattered until I looked at the bottom of the slip and realized that he had left me a $0.26 tip. FML

#19721
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25281) - you deserved it (2300)

On 02/10/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by appleville (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266110) - you deserved it (49507)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

#2379
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18832) - you deserved it (1760)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by raybandy - United States (Texas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: