Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kirbeaar

Search for a member

kirbeaar
  • Town/Country : Canada, eh?
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 613
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kirbeaar : The only thing I love more than reading an FML is reading the comments below.

kirbeaar's last visitors

amberv61smc3106miichiiiMr_LeadingUnionbay47Dodopysweet0cheeks

kirbeaar's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of kirbeaar's badges

kirbeaar's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

#19884925
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6977) - you deserved it (36943)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML

#19833260
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18116) - you deserved it (6259)

On 06/23/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

#19411591
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20582) - you deserved it (3642)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

#19411033
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18440) - you deserved it (10952)

On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

#19404370
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28497) - you deserved it (1832)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

#19394334
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23824) - you deserved it (8990)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:02am - love - by IloveJapan (woman) - Japan

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15718) - you deserved it (28880)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML

#19381776
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20175) - you deserved it (9622)

On 03/31/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I have major OCD, and I had to sit in a room with a man covered in cat hair, struggling to even survive for an hour and a half. FML

#19368838
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16463) - you deserved it (3273)

On 03/29/2012 at 7:13am - misc - by toryzhere - Canada

Today, my boyfriend finally proposed. His reason? A Las Vegas wedding came up on Groupon. FML

#19367964
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20384) - you deserved it (2477)

On 03/29/2012 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

#19281835
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (3039)

On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25992) - you deserved it (5669)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

#19211804
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35891) - you deserved it (24927)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I looked over my next homework assignment for art class. It was to draw a portrait of my best friend. I can't think of anyone besides my mother. FML

#19048946
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25023) - you deserved it (3814)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by soupisyummy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I shaved half my eyebrow off trying to shave my uni-brow. FML

#18355886
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14328) - you deserved it (25768)

On 11/26/2011 at 11:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: