kingtz

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kingtz

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 March 1981 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3067
  • Number of comments : 316
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About kingtz : I do stem cell research, and am really into the sciences. If you see me here, I probably should be working.

I love to read. Especially stuff like "The Wheel of Time" and ASOIAF!

For fun, I love rock climbing, lifting weights and I play tennis occasionally.

And to answer everybody's question, that's not my puppy, and nor is that my hand.

kingtz's page activity

Visits<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 1:41pm<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 7:45pm<b>holly_fly</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 12:05am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 3:14am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 12:54pm<b>isabelc</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:41pm<b>trenteg11</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:58am<b>ronnixoxo</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 10:04pm<b>jellenwood</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 9:53am<b>NateshN</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 7:28am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 12:17am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 9:07pm<b>kianabanannna</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 9:39pm<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 7:25pm<b>bluecabose</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 7:41pm<b>Boxer3421</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 4:55pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 5:15pm

Fucked!<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 1:46am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 6:17am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 11:15pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:41pm

kingtz's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of kingtz's badges

kingtz's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 1:54am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I noticed a weird smell coming from my four year old daughter's room. I went to investigate and found she had been using (and hiding) her garbage can as a toilet for when she "can't make it in time." FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my dad cussed out an individual on the phone because he thought it was a telemarketer. He was my Indian girlfriend's father. FML

by dollarstorepwnr / 03/19/2011 at 1:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

by Username / 03/17/2011 at 12:04am / Kids

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

by Username / 03/12/2011 at 12:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that if you see a picture in your boss's office of a extremely good looking, big breasted woman kissing him on the cheek, not to comment. Because that extremely good looking, big breasted woman, just might be his daughter. FML

by st00pid / 03/04/2011 at 1:07am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

by Anon. / 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML

by Sam / 02/27/2011 at 4:42pm / United States (Wyoming) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

by Christopher / 12/13/2010 at 4:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Health