kingtz

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kingtz

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 March 1981 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3208
  • Number of comments : 316
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About kingtz : I do stem cell research, and am really into the sciences. If you see me here, I probably should be working.

I love to read. Especially stuff like "The Wheel of Time" and ASOIAF!

For fun, I love rock climbing, lifting weights and I play tennis occasionally.

And to answer everybody's question, that's not my puppy, and nor is that my hand.

kingtz's page activity

Visits<b>IAm123</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 2:26am<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 1:41pm<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 7:45pm<b>holly_fly</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 12:05am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 3:14am<b>jill97</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 12:54pm<b>isabelc</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:41pm<b>trenteg11</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:58am<b>ronnixoxo</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 10:04pm<b>jellenwood</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 9:53am<b>NateshN</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 7:28am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 12:17am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 9:07pm<b>kianabanannna</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 9:39pm<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 7:25pm<b>bluecabose</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 7:41pm<b>Boxer3421</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 4:55pm

Fucked!<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 1:46am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 6:17am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 11:15pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:41pm

kingtz's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of kingtz's badges

kingtz's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago my 4 year old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML

by Clueless / 05/14/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2011 at 9:17am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I realized that I give the computer screen a thumbs up whenever I see something cool. I work on computers in front of people all day. FML

by helen / 05/09/2011 at 11:44pm / Work

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

by hornyloser / 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got a letter back from the family I will be staying with as a part of an exchange program. Apparently they own a slaughterhouse type farm, and I'm expected to kill one of their animals and eat it as a gift from the family. I'm a vegan. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2011 at 10:37pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

by Mike / 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm / Health

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML

by Jade / 04/25/2011 at 9:49am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Love

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

by bobo / 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

by nightDREAMERms / 04/23/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML

by ::Tracy:: / 04/17/2011 at 5:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2011 at 1:35pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

by fuundmental/// / 04/09/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

by failure / 04/08/2011 at 1:24am / Intimacy

Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML

by arbiter3 / 04/04/2011 at 6:13am / Kids