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kingtz

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kingtz

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 March 1981 (33 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2377
  • Number of comments : 316
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About kingtz : I do stem cell research, and am really into the sciences. If you see me here, I probably should be working.

I love to read. Especially stuff like "The Wheel of Time" and ASOIAF!

For fun, I love rock climbing, lifting weights and I play tennis occasionally.

And to answer everybody's question, that's not my puppy, and nor is that my hand.

kingtz's page activity

Visits<b>derpina72</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 8:13am<b>djcity</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 10:54pm<b>purplenblackbox</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 4:20pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:41pm<b>emmamarie243</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:54pm<b>Vball6</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 9:58am<b>hedgehogman123</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:53pm<b>yareens</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:17am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:08pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 7:14am<b>tangerine06</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 12:11am<b>byefelicia1992</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 11:53am<b>BlankSteve</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 4:34pm<b>levodkamartini</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 11:09am<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 8:08pm<b>FatboyJ115</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 11:37pm<b>CammyGal</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 6:03am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 9:24pm

Liked!<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:41pm

kingtz's FML badges

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It’s in the can

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I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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kingtz's favorite FMLs

Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split second later, I realized I wasn't typing into the browser address bar, but in a chat window on my other screen. I'd been chatting with a girl I wanted to get with at the time. FML

#17719852
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13543) - you deserved it (60171)

On 09/11/2011 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by Extended_desktop (man) - Poland

Today, I zoned out in a coffee shop for about two minutes and was brought back to reality when a woman smacked me out of my seat. Apparently I was staring at her chest while zoned out. FML

#17436721
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28021) - you deserved it (6506)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40318) - you deserved it (3246)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML

#17177083
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37441) - you deserved it (4716)

On 07/19/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by PissNTra - United States

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31013) - you deserved it (89788)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML

#17104731
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31876) - you deserved it (2435)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42989) - you deserved it (3599)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73752) - you deserved it (7687)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38261) - you deserved it (21784)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML

#16842955
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10003) - you deserved it (42998)

On 06/25/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by PandaMantis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

#16675127
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32542) - you deserved it (2873)

On 06/15/2011 at 9:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13696) - you deserved it (47996)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20793) - you deserved it (47666)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16450) - you deserved it (27808)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15321) - you deserved it (57020)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)



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