About kingsgirl99 : FML!!
About kingsgirl99 : FML!!
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kingsgirl99's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals
by andi0804 / 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by kashish0711 / 08/02/2009 at 12:14pm / India (Chandigarh) / Miscellaneous
Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML
by deadbunnies / 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (California) / Love
by Herdad / 07/30/2009 at 7:34am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by nottananny / 07/21/2009 at 4:49am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML
by porkeater / 07/16/2009 at 11:02am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, while eating a Subway sandwich, I was watching a comedian on TV. As he said his signature line, I laughed hysterically and accidentally snorted a jalapeño into my nose. I spent the next 5 minutes trying to snort out the little piece that got lodged into my nostril. FML
by zombielover1 / 07/13/2009 at 2:17am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I turned 23. I had asked my mom for some things to decorate my new place. As I opened the box to reveal my gift, a mirror was inside. I liked the mirror. I did not like the note attached that said "Look inside the mirror to see who is now 100% financially responsible for themselves." FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2009 at 12:08am / United States (Tennessee) / Money
Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML
by hatboxghost / 07/09/2009 at 1:17am / United States / Love
Today, I was helping my friend with her little sister's birthday party. We were playing a game where you get up and switch seats if you've done a certain thing. One girl said to switch if you've kissed a boy. I watched as 18 12-year-olds switched seats with each other. I stayed sitting. I'm 17. FML
by neverbeenkissed / 07/03/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML
by blazer / 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML
by merkris / 06/29/2009 at 11:41am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Soapy / 06/28/2009 at 3:23am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…