About kingsgirl99 : FML!!
About kingsgirl99 : FML!!
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kingsgirl99's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a text from my boyfriend that said, "Last week was the most embarassing time of my life, we're over." He was of course referring to the seizure that I had due to my epilepsy at Olive Garden. FML
by Allie / 10/29/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I recieved a message on MySpace from a cute guy I've been talking to for a while. It read, "I saw a girl in Old Navy at the mall last night that looked a lot like you, but she was much fatter." I was in Old Navy at the mall last night. FML
by girlthatstoofat / 10/29/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a speeding ticket. My speedometer got busted a few weeks back, rendering it useless. My father, a former mechanic, decided it's not worth the trouble of going in and fixing it. "Just keep with traffic when you're on the highway; you'll be fine." This $150 fee says otherwise. FML
by ZThirteen / 10/25/2009 at 6:08am / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
Today, I went to buy my prom dress. I felt really good as I walked out of the dressing room, until someone walked out of the room next to me wearing the same dress, and looked better in it than I did. It was a man buying it for his drag show. FML
by draggirl / 10/13/2009 at 1:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Rizzle / 10/04/2009 at 3:50am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Animals
Today, I talked to a girl on the phone who had previously told me her last relationship "ended very badly." I said, "So let me guess, that jerk cheated on you?" She paused for a few moments and finally replied, "No, he died in a motorcycle accident." FML
by Greg / 09/28/2009 at 1:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML
by Anonymous / 09/25/2009 at 11:15pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I was at work and my mother texted me. The text read, "You take a nice picture." To which I responded, "what picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You are even smiling." FML
by asdfas / 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Transportation
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came back from my 3 month vacation from France. During my vacation I lost 32lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML
by nikkiquila_0699 / 09/05/2009 at 5:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by beya / 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by lilbit / 08/26/2009 at 1:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by NoseInPain / 08/20/2009 at 10:17am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML
by ZSL / 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
by Anonymous / 08/12/2009 at 4:12pm / Denmark (Kobenhavn) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I ran an experiment perfectly in lab. I was the last in my class to finish and proud of how… Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided… Today my manager tried to force me to sign an employee contract (I've worked here a year) that she…