About kingsgirl99 : FML!!
About kingsgirl99 : FML!!
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kingsgirl99's favorite FMLs
Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML
by bbedlock / 04/16/2011 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/19/2011 at 11:43am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
by fourfootnine / 03/07/2011 at 8:47am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML
by storyofmylife / 02/23/2011 at 4:52pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by Someone / 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Clare / 02/21/2011 at 6:15pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by lovehim / 01/25/2011 at 4:16pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by fail / 01/15/2011 at 8:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by ilik3catz / 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 12:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by riddick0846 / 12/12/2010 at 2:29am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…