About kingsgirl99 : FML!!
About kingsgirl99 : FML!!
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kingsgirl99's favorite FMLs
Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML
by bbedlock / 04/16/2011 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/19/2011 at 11:43am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
by fourfootnine / 03/07/2011 at 8:47am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML
by storyofmylife / 02/23/2011 at 4:52pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by Someone / 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Clare / 02/21/2011 at 6:15pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by lovehim / 01/25/2011 at 4:16pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by fail / 01/15/2011 at 8:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by ilik3catz / 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 12:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by riddick0846 / 12/12/2010 at 2:29am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…