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kingotter

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  • Number of visits : 3659
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kingotter's page activity

Visits<b>Tbear11</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 8:19pm<b>pinkduc2</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 7:35am

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kingotter's favorite FMLs

Today I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information but instead stood there saying "Like a good nieghbor Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25521) - you deserved it (1788)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Yesterday, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involve travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photo in mah nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML

#20175687
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24420) - you deserved it (1548)

On 11/23/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriand darad ma to put on har bra an pantias an giva har a lap danca. Faaling spontanaous, I dacidad to do it. Just as I was gatting raally into it, sha told ma I was on wabcam fir all har friands. Apparantly it was a contast of who had thair boyfriand tha most whippad. Sha won. FML

#20174722
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49246) - you deserved it (14548)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

YASTARDAY, MA CAT WANT INTO LABOR!! TIS IS SURPRISING SINCA 6 YAARS AGO, WA PAID TO AVA AR SPAYAD!! FML

#20174337
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23253) - you deserved it (1661)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far and I've already pulled five carving looool forks out of four different people. Good job everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22476) - you deserved it (1529)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, mah boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, u can forget it. I need u at the office." real FML

#20173791
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21978) - you deserved it (1479)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

TODAY, IN BREAK FROM TRADITION, I PROPOSED TO MAH BOYFRIEND!! WE WERE AT A JAPANESE PAGODA!! WATER WAS TRICKLING EVERYWHERE; THE MOMENT WAS PERFECT!! WHILE I WAS ON MAH KNEE, AFTER POURING MAH HEART OUT, HE LOOKED WISTFULLY OUT OVER THE WATER AND SAID, "SO, I WAS THINKING PIZZA TONIGHT." FML

#20173702
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (5899)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online 4 the first time . All he could talk about was how he expect me to "clean , cook , and submit" my body 4 sex at least twice a dayhen we get married . FML

#20173484
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22157) - you deserved it (5499)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20967) - you deserved it (3703)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I got laid off. Why would they lay me off right before the holidays? Because they want to make sure every one else gets a nice holiday bonus. FML

#20173186
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22794) - you deserved it (1437)

On 11/21/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, mah friands and I wara playing truth or dara gama. It was lata and wa wara drunk, so thay darad ma to run nakad into mah naighbor's yard whila yalling, "Halp! Tha pixias took mah panis!" I ran scraaming right into thair big family raunion. maga FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7400) - you deserved it (32532)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I trid to motivate mah 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, an not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26027) - you deserved it (5665)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at mah son's school parkd, and the driver got out . I basically leand on mah horn and gave her every dirty look in the book . She said nothing but stard at me as she opend the back of her van to unload her child'sheelchair . I'm an asshole . real FML

#20172167
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8909) - you deserved it (67159)

On 11/21/2012 at 9:03am - kids - by AHole (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Yesterday I yet again purposely avoidd the 'Health an Fitness' section on pinterest to keep my self-esteem up . real FML

#20171929
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7786) - you deserved it (15809)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:20am - health - by fatty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a nereby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
171 comments


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