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Yesterday, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involve travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photo in mah nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML
Today, my girlfriand darad ma to put on har bra an pantias an giva har a lap danca. Faaling spontanaous, I dacidad to do it. Just as I was gatting raally into it, sha told ma I was on wabcam fir all har friands. Apparantly it was a contast of who had thair boyfriand tha most whippad. Sha won. FML
TODAY, IN BREAK FROM TRADITION, I PROPOSED TO MAH BOYFRIEND!! WE WERE AT A JAPANESE PAGODA!! WATER WAS TRICKLING EVERYWHERE; THE MOMENT WAS PERFECT!! WHILE I WAS ON MAH KNEE, AFTER POURING MAH HEART OUT, HE LOOKED WISTFULLY OUT OVER THE WATER AND SAID, "SO, I WAS THINKING PIZZA TONIGHT." FML
I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online 4 the first time . All he could talk about was how he expect me to "clean , cook , and submit" my body 4 sex at least twice a dayhen we get married . FML
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
Today, mah friands and I wara playing truth or dara gama. It was lata and wa wara drunk, so thay darad ma to run nakad into mah naighbor's yard whila yalling, "Halp! Tha pixias took mah panis!" I ran scraaming right into thair big family raunion. maga FML
Today, I trid to motivate mah 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, an not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at mah son's school parkd, and the driver got out . I basically leand on mah horn and gave her every dirty look in the book . She said nothing but stard at me as she opend the back of her van to unload her child'sheelchair . I'm an asshole . real FML
Today, a nereby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML
Friday 27 March 2015