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kingotter

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kingotter
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  • Number of visits : 2068
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kingotter's favorite FMLs

Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML

#12534816
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11485) - you deserved it (28211)

On 08/15/2010 at 4:42am - misc - by Lifeless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to call the number a cute guy had scribbled onto a napkin and given to me. I was greeted by, "Hello, this is Dr. Allen's office." Surprised, because I didn't remember his name being anything close to Allen, I asked who Dr. Allen was. She's a psychologist. FML

#12371102
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25436) - you deserved it (5007)

On 08/07/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by TRalalla (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

#11935766
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20790) - you deserved it (41318)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML

#6737603
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31908) - you deserved it (308)

On 12/13/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by justine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I signed up for a psych experiment. I was a damsel in distress on the side of the highway, but no one stopped. Back at the lab, another participant said a half dozen people helped her. The professor was testing how attractiveness effects altruism. I was the unattractive subject. FML

#6651455
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28805) - you deserved it (2373)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

#6528264
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25103) - you deserved it (12100)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/suprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML

#5661916
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7875) - you deserved it (29804)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18922) - you deserved it (35610)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML

#4086782
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60475) - you deserved it (2779)

On 07/27/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by thatonekid (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

#3252753
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53257) - you deserved it (2727)

On 06/26/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Chedder (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my only grandson about how I was going to the dentist to get my teeth fixed and how it was going to cost a lot of money, he replied saying "Who cares, you're going to die soon anyways". FML

#3096413
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59066) - you deserved it (3342)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by oldtimerclark - United States (Georgia)

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

#1949482
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53828) - you deserved it (3118)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by thisreallyhappened (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

#1873623
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65558) - you deserved it (11928)

On 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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