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kingotter

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kingotter

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  • Number of visits : 2627
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kingotter's page activity

Visits<b>pinkduc2</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 7:35am

kingotter's FML badges

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kingotter's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

#17987408
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35849) - you deserved it (7525)

On 10/15/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML

#17431204
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35018) - you deserved it (5201)

On 08/10/2011 at 5:10pm - love - by 6u174r_d00d - United States

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

#17384491
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27663) - you deserved it (8152)

On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States

Today, I realized the only reason my boyfriend is dating me is because he has a pimple fetish. FML

#17304312
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37888) - you deserved it (4681)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that the guy I've been sending anonymous, dirty emails to knows who I am. My signature, which includes my full name, was automatically added to the end of every email. FML

#17221822
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8837) - you deserved it (74848)

On 07/22/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML

#17023153
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52740) - you deserved it (10526)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:19am - love - by Nick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML

#16868176
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32791) - you deserved it (8198)

On 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm - love - by luni - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

#15591776
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46101) - you deserved it (6022)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by guest - United States

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

#15555921
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33405) - you deserved it (24680)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

#14647585
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31897) - you deserved it (11074)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by saddened97 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

#14478840
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31425) - you deserved it (4482)

On 01/05/2011 at 9:19pm - kids - by yingyang2 - United States

Today, in math class, I got an answer "wrong." The teacher yelled at me, then he realized that my answer was correct. Then he yelled at me for not correcting him. FML

#13375159
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29985) - you deserved it (2694)

On 10/09/2010 at 4:22am - misc - by jessii - United States (New York)

Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML

#12534816
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12074) - you deserved it (29236)

On 08/15/2010 at 4:42am - misc - by Lifeless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to call the number a cute guy had scribbled onto a napkin and given to me. I was greeted by, "Hello, this is Dr. Allen's office." Surprised, because I didn't remember his name being anything close to Allen, I asked who Dr. Allen was. She's a psychologist. FML

#12371102
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26532) - you deserved it (5122)

On 08/07/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by TRalalla (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

#11935766
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21746) - you deserved it (42447)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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