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kingotter

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kingotter
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  • Number of visits : 2026
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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kingotter's favorite FMLs

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37667) - you deserved it (2853)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

#18403998
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51189) - you deserved it (2816)

On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

#18259551
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11102) - you deserved it (21375)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

#17987408
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34371) - you deserved it (7303)

On 10/15/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML

#17431204
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29484) - you deserved it (4043)

On 08/10/2011 at 5:10pm - love - by 6u174r_d00d - United States

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

#17384491
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26475) - you deserved it (7947)

On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States

Today, I realized the only reason my boyfriend is dating me is because he has a pimple fetish. FML

#17304312
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35972) - you deserved it (4476)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that the guy I've been sending anonymous, dirty emails to knows who I am. My signature, which includes my full name, was automatically added to the end of every email. FML

#17221822
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7937) - you deserved it (70503)

On 07/22/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML

#17023153
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45902) - you deserved it (8355)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:19am - love - by Nick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML

#16868176
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30110) - you deserved it (7780)

On 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm - love - by luni - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

#15591776
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40418) - you deserved it (4759)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by guest - United States

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

#15555921
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31995) - you deserved it (24005)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

#14647585
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26287) - you deserved it (8826)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by saddened97 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

#14478840
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30056) - you deserved it (4342)

On 01/05/2011 at 9:19pm - kids - by yingyang2 - United States

Today, in math class, I got an answer "wrong." The teacher yelled at me, then he realized that my answer was correct. Then he yelled at me for not correcting him. FML

#13375159
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27863) - you deserved it (2534)

On 10/09/2010 at 4:22am - misc - by jessii - United States (New York)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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