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kingotter

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  • Number of visits : 2939
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kingotter's page activity

Visits<b>pinkduc2</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 7:35am

kingotter's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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kingotter's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML

#20416791
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10085) - you deserved it (32365)

On 12/23/2012 at 5:24pm - misc - by you fuckhobbit (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

#20416717
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36142) - you deserved it (5630)

On 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm - kids - by still had to pay (man) - Australia

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

#20416717
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36142) - you deserved it (5630)

On 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm - kids - by still had to pay (man) - Australia

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16245) - you deserved it (46029)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33560) - you deserved it (8087)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36055) - you deserved it (5089)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

#20414355
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35168) - you deserved it (5548)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML

#20413271
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49958) - you deserved it (4492)

On 12/22/2012 at 7:50am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML

#20407951
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41976) - you deserved it (2754)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by SugarMyBalls (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30677) - you deserved it (7998)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40297) - you deserved it (4499)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26620) - you deserved it (2961)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

#20399775
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34026) - you deserved it (8334)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

#20202076
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24456) - you deserved it (2066)

On 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39653) - you deserved it (2438)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)



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