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kingotter

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  • Number of visits : 3285
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kingotter's page activity

Visits<b>Tbear11</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 8:19pm<b>pinkduc2</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 7:35am

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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kingotter's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

#20144510
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31295) - you deserved it (7552)

On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24202) - you deserved it (4303) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML

#20142623
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43051) - you deserved it (1682)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30719) - you deserved it (6502)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

#20141794
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24449) - you deserved it (3514)

On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26819) - you deserved it (1896)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML

#20141262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25544) - you deserved it (3116)

On 10/31/2012 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30999) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML

#20141147
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22288) - you deserved it (2736)

On 10/31/2012 at 12:22am - love - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

#20140639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25948) - you deserved it (1991)

On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23682) - you deserved it (4165)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10251) - you deserved it (40655)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

#20138696
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18976) - you deserved it (1822)

On 10/29/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by mistickfae - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28504) - you deserved it (1836)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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