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kingotter

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kingotter

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  • Number of visits : 2900
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kingotter's page activity

Visits<b>pinkduc2</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 7:35am

kingotter's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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kingotter's favorite FMLs

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

#20479916
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31857) - you deserved it (3557)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm - work - by FUCK THE PIGS (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML

#20478634
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27859) - you deserved it (1898)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34048) - you deserved it (5800)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML

#20478067
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26236) - you deserved it (2165)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29565) - you deserved it (3898)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML

#20477568
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29427) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:30am - health - by asthmattack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30293) - you deserved it (2704)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was waiting inside the shelter at the bus stop when a lady came up to me and asked if I would mind if she peed. FML

#20476019
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26663) - you deserved it (2011)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31111) - you deserved it (3278)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31111) - you deserved it (3278)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35435) - you deserved it (3701)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60003) - you deserved it (6913)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML

#20465650
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29740) - you deserved it (2518)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32483) - you deserved it (2153)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)



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