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kinglambton

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kinglambton

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  • Number of visits : 79
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kinglambton's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally confronted my boyfriend and asked him if he was cheating on me. He got flustered and said, "Technically, I'm cheating with you, not on you." FML

#20049344
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31135) - you deserved it (2519)

On 08/30/2012 at 11:24am - love - by nice one (woman) -

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24920) - you deserved it (6354)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML

#19612395
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25252) - you deserved it (2012)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19212) - you deserved it (36782)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

#19426684
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44546) - you deserved it (3090)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by jordyn173 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21770) - you deserved it (12209)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

#19276990
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24964) - you deserved it (3038)

On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28982) - you deserved it (18126)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8768) - you deserved it (66212)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, I started my new job as a dishwasher, and was very excited since I've been broke for weeks. A few people dined and dashed, apparently for the first time in the restaurant's history. My boss is superstitious. She fired me. FML

#18834092
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28586) - you deserved it (1926)

On 01/17/2012 at 11:08am - work - by broke - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

#18803776
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16110) - you deserved it (23547)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:15am - intimacy - by sosadbuttrue - Switzerland (Glarus)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28023) - you deserved it (3426)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35066) - you deserved it (5307)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

#17908235
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7706) - you deserved it (58761)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML

#17801637
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11620) - you deserved it (39579)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by mortenp - United States (Maryland)



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