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kingjohnson924

Offline (the 10/25/2014 at 10:08pm) | Search for a member

kingjohnson924

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 September 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 273
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kingjohnson924 : Smart, hardworking, gamer, add me on Xbox live: Avidity Soul, add me on Snapchat: tjohnson4ever

kingjohnson924's page activity

Visits<b>ilovefood17</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:22pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 5:29am

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kingjohnson924's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

#21178301
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48960) - you deserved it (7579)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by ifeelfat (woman) - United States

Today, I am so shy and friendless that my mother is literally setting up a play-date with one of her friend's daughters. I'm 25 years old and this is my best chance at making a friend. FML

#21164644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43397) - you deserved it (8117)

On 06/06/2014 at 2:24am - kids - by playdated - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60145) - you deserved it (8485)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46755) - you deserved it (5192)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, I found out our newborn snores worse than his father. FML

#21155774
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46137) - you deserved it (5713)

On 05/29/2014 at 11:18am - kids - by bananna - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59145) - you deserved it (4566)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47021) - you deserved it (4030)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22320) - you deserved it (64385)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML

#21135508
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51617) - you deserved it (4503)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by ColoredPencil13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

#21135494
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35558) - you deserved it (3413)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my computer crashed and lost all of its data while I was making a back up. FML

#21134602
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40276) - you deserved it (3840)

On 05/09/2014 at 1:35am - misc - by mlowy - Azerbaijan (Baki)

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

#21134481
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46936) - you deserved it (6321)

On 05/08/2014 at 11:01pm - kids - by imnotastranger (man) -

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63811) - you deserved it (8104)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37814) - you deserved it (20073)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61589) - you deserved it (14142)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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