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today I came ome from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took te ouse and most of te money, sister is seven monts pregnant, broter was arrested fir statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." O, and my fis died. FML
Today, Was The First Time My Boyfriend Slept Over. He Was Hard, So I Woke Him Up By Whispering In His Ear, "If You Could Get Me To Do Anything Right Now, What Would It Be?" His Response, "Can You Get Me A Bowl Of Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream?" He Was Hard, 4 Ice Cream. FML
Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passd by all of the naughty peep shows with poster of nakd women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, mah dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom buttd in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML
Friday 27 March 2015