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king_kazma

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king_kazma

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 September 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8406
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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king_kazma's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of king_kazma's badges

king_kazma's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26036) - you deserved it (17485)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

#21363653
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24249) - you deserved it (4994)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm - misc - by fredi - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

#21363602
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26157) - you deserved it (3212)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, I T-boned a woman who pulled out of a parking lot right in front of me. According to her, the accident was my fault because she "didn't see" me. FML

Today, I learned that, when choking on a piece of food, you can cough hard enough to partially prolapse a hemorrhoid. FML

#21362525
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24079) - you deserved it (1821)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:15am - health - by novaguy - United States

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

#21360985
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30803) - you deserved it (1772)

On 02/22/2015 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

#21360941
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28749) - you deserved it (4074)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:54am - health - by IngenuityAbsent - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32582) - you deserved it (7794)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML

#21358080
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29935) - you deserved it (8971)

On 02/17/2015 at 3:02pm - kids - by Clive81 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35154) - you deserved it (3387)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

#21355983
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30478) - you deserved it (2054)

On 02/14/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

#21355947
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28623) - you deserved it (8946)

On 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32940) - you deserved it (3375)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

#21355411
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33471) - you deserved it (1834)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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