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kimmi5

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kimmi5

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  • Number of visits : 2292
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kimmi5's page activity

Visits<b>Sjus</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 2:13pm<b>DissyDemon</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 11:53pm<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 10:33pm<b>fancypotato</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:26am<b>dmoran20</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 8:06pm<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 6:32pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:24am<b>blueflygon</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 4:03am<b>Mike09220</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 8:45pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 10:22pm<b>allstarrider</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 8:12pm<b>DoubleDie7</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 1:11am<b>vinincolorado</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 9:51am<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 6:42pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 1:52pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 8:44am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 6:36am<b>carry_on</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 1:40pm

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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kimmi5's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

#20885188
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43312) - you deserved it (3580)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40409) - you deserved it (2478)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45907) - you deserved it (3121)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45128) - you deserved it (8296)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML

#20883435
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39544) - you deserved it (10694)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:26am - love - by Oh hells no (man) - United States (California)

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

#20883379
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44573) - you deserved it (2314)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:35am - health - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52319) - you deserved it (4795)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

#20882967
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39925) - you deserved it (11347)

On 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm - misc - by BaMiTsAnYa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26706) - you deserved it (39107)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss took me to one side and said, "Cross me like that ever again, and you're fired." I have no clue what he was talking about, and he denies ever having said a word to me. FML

#20882475
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36663) - you deserved it (2441)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:47pm - work - by what... (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, one of my online friends told me he's bought a plane ticket, so he can come visit me. I've told him multiple times before that I'm uncomfortable with this idea, but he keeps telling me to stop joking, and reminding me that he'll have no other place to stay. FML

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39863) - you deserved it (3306)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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