kimmi5

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Offline (the 01/17/2015 at 9:36am)

kimmi5

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9462
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kimmi5 : I enjoy FML and read fmls during my down time. I usually don't comment ever. I like to keep to myself mostly. If I look a little young, the picture is not of me but of my little sister. Thanks for taking the time to read about me.

kimmi5's page activity

Visits<b>dvojplisen</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 6:55pm<b>Fennex3</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:05pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:00pm<b>erichanoki</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 6:23pm<b>Shadowsin</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 4:21pm<b>olpally</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 1:16am<b>obeykiddsmalls</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 4:46pm<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 9:55pm<b>allstarrider</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 5:27pm<b>PleasantDino</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 7:11am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:10am<b>xdadev</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:18am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 12:55pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 2:13pm<b>DissyDemon</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 11:53pm<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 10:33pm<b>fancypotato</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:26am<b>dmoran20</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 8:06pm

Fucked!<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 2:47am

kimmi5's FML badges

Inception

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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of kimmi5's badges

kimmi5's favorite FMLs

Today, I was short on money for bills, so I pulled out my alto saxophone, knowing that no matter how much I loved it, I'd be able pay my rent with the money. As I pulled it out of its case, the neck strap broke and I dropped it, breaking the bell beyond repair. Now I'm poor AND depressed. FML

by clumsyandpoor / 12/02/2014 at 11:05pm / United States (South Dakota) / Money

Today, after two years, my girlfriend finally got over her intimacy and commitment problems, with a guy she met over the summer. FML

by Summer Loving Happened So Fast / 12/02/2014 at 12:59pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my little sister asked if she could play on my laptop, but I said no because I was writing an essay for school. She then bit herself hard and showed the mark to our parents, saying I did it. As they bitched me out, my sister got on my laptop and deleted my half-finished essay. FML

by anotherhuman / 11/30/2014 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear sporty, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just when a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

by Rizma / 11/27/2014 at 10:12am / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML

by Unlucky / 11/14/2014 at 9:18pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2014 at 6:16pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I told my professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML

by ... / 02/07/2014 at 3:30pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2014 at 1:51pm / Mayotte / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

by DeeDee / 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

by Merith2004 / 02/04/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my mom isn't coming to see me for Christmas. Instead she'll be spending it in jail for a DUI and battery. Thank you to my cocklick of an aunt for taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar and pressuring her into relapse. FML

by jhulich / 12/24/2013 at 3:48pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous