About kimmi5 : I enjoy FML and read fmls during my down time. I usually don't comment ever. I like to keep to myself mostly. If I look a little young, the picture is not of me but of my little sister. Thanks for taking the time to read about me.
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kimmi5's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
by meens42 / 09/30/2013 at 4:04am / United States / Kids
by NotSoTypical / 09/29/2013 at 7:30pm / United States / Money
by -__-" / 09/29/2013 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 5:28pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML
by ouharguohargssdf / 09/28/2013 at 5:01pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 12:25pm / Serbia / Love
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 7:44am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 12:08am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML
by ;_;" / 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML
by anahira6 / 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 3:08pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML
by sigh / 09/27/2013 at 3:01pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…