About kimmi5 : I enjoy FML and read fmls during my down time. I usually don't comment ever. I like to keep to myself mostly. If I look a little young, the picture is not of me but of my little sister. Thanks for taking the time to read about me.
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kimmi5's favorite FMLs
Today, my neighbour came over with a bag containing lingerie, and apologized while blushing. Turns out his boy was the reason that my lingerie kept disappearing from my garden clothesline recently. His "boy" is over 20 years younger than me. FML
by noreia / 10/06/2013 at 12:11am / Hong Kong / Kids
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals
Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML
by british_babe / 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by wasted_gas / 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some lean pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 4:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML
by ricky the sage / 10/04/2013 at 8:04pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML
by okaythen / 10/04/2013 at 5:37am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love
by f.a.t. / 10/04/2013 at 4:20am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Kyra.45 / 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 5:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
by EconM / 10/03/2013 at 11:38am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 4:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…