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kimmi5

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kimmi5

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  • Number of visits : 2917
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kimmi5's page activity

Visits<b>Sjus</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 2:13pm<b>DissyDemon</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 11:53pm<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 10:33pm<b>fancypotato</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:26am<b>dmoran20</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 8:06pm<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 6:32pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:24am<b>blueflygon</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 4:03am<b>Mike09220</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 8:45pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 10:22pm<b>allstarrider</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 8:12pm<b>DoubleDie7</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 1:11am<b>vinincolorado</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 9:51am<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 6:42pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 1:52pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 8:44am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 6:36am<b>carry_on</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 1:40pm

kimmi5's FML badges

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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kimmi5's favorite FMLs

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

#20916055
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41086) - you deserved it (4624)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:09am - work - by Itsnotmeitsyou (woman) - Australia

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

#20915293
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38628) - you deserved it (3139)

On 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by Lady Douche of Asscrackington (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48233) - you deserved it (16252)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML

#20914586
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38060) - you deserved it (21787)

On 10/09/2013 at 11:03pm - money - by oneiPodlighter (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my brother finally informed me that our shower head has an option to make the water only come out of the detachable part. My left leg's been in a cast for 4 months, and the whole time I've had to shower sitting backwards with my leg sticking out the door. He knew. FML

Today, my boyfriend won a diamond engagement ring through a citywide competition. Instead of proposing to me, he's selling it. FML

#20913492
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45028) - you deserved it (15237)

On 10/09/2013 at 3:03am - love - by arthise (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I asked my friend to crop me out of her profile picture on Facebook because I look terrible in it. She responded that she wasn't going to, because it made her look better. FML

#20913413
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39960) - you deserved it (4962)

On 10/09/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

#20913049
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41669) - you deserved it (4452)

On 10/08/2013 at 9:19pm - kids - by Allycat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57525) - you deserved it (3286)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

#20912417
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47629) - you deserved it (2850)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by she knows - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I have to go on a 7-hour-bus ride sitting beside my ex-boyfriend's mother. We broke up because she told him to. FML

#20912397
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45206) - you deserved it (2846)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53636) - you deserved it (4230)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML

#20912116
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38365) - you deserved it (3041)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:09am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

#20911674
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40197) - you deserved it (4767)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by BOHICA123 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my new colleagues took me up on my idea of a group night out. Perhaps they'll actually invite me along next time. FML

#20911387
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37230) - you deserved it (2800)

On 10/07/2013 at 6:51pm - work - by Loner_Lou (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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