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kimmi5

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kimmi5
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  • Number of visits : 1446
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kimmi5's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML

#20921675
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43985) - you deserved it (2782)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper. I had to reach into my small trash can and use soiled toilet paper to clean myself. When I went to flush the toilet, I noticed three unused rolls of toilet paper sitting on the counter. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at a dinner with our two families. Not only did she flatly reject me, my dad said, "Good call. He's not ready." FML

#20921216
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45272) - you deserved it (5962)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:49am - love - by notready (man) - Australia

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

#20921212
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45395) - you deserved it (4196)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend texted me from a bar, saying they had just called my name in a raffle to win a trip to Aspen, CO. You had to be at the bar to claim the prize. I had left the bar half-an-hour earlier, not knowing they were even having a raffle. FML

#20920627
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38784) - you deserved it (3730)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:14pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

#20920034
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45179) - you deserved it (4771)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

#20919168
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42122) - you deserved it (3637)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm - money - by and she blames me -_- (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML

#20918616
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51241) - you deserved it (2746)

On 10/13/2013 at 6:49am - love - by IDon't - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML

#20918462
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37132) - you deserved it (3544)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by Water Daughter - United States

Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML

#20918430
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38602) - you deserved it (23015)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:23am - money - by hungry (man) - United States

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

#20918380
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38341) - you deserved it (9425)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:33am - misc - by markerThief (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML

#20917814
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37828) - you deserved it (11581)

On 10/12/2013 at 4:28pm - love - by fuck.jpg.bmp.gif.rar.zip.shit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

#20916778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37550) - you deserved it (2574)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:44pm - health - by jnisla (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got into a fistfight with a complete idiot wearing a panda outfit. My face now looks like a real panda's. FML

#20916733
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28164) - you deserved it (14746)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:00pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML

#20916390
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36795) - you deserved it (2958)

On 10/11/2013 at 12:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)



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