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kimmi5

Offline (the 12/10/2014 at 3:45am) | Search for a member

kimmi5

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3126
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kimmi5 : I enjoy FML and read fmls during my down time. I usually don't comment ever. I like to keep to myself mostly. If I look a little young, the picture is not of me but of my little sister. Thanks for taking the time to read about me.

kimmi5's page activity

Visits<b>greaterdane</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 9:07am<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 9:55pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 2:19am<b>allstarrider</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 5:27pm<b>PleasantDino</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 7:11am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:10am<b>xdadev</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:18am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 12:55pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 2:13pm<b>DissyDemon</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 11:53pm<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 10:33pm<b>fancypotato</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:26am<b>dmoran20</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 8:06pm<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 6:32pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:24am<b>blueflygon</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 4:03am<b>Mike09220</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 8:45pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 10:22pm

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kimmi5's favorite FMLs

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

#20957216
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48978) - you deserved it (2674)

On 11/14/2013 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54302) - you deserved it (3203)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46109) - you deserved it (12125)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML

Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML

#20954433
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37294) - you deserved it (2736)

On 11/11/2013 at 9:14pm - health - by myheadhurts (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55403) - you deserved it (4063)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41419) - you deserved it (3767)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML

#20952357
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50328) - you deserved it (4470)

On 11/10/2013 at 5:28am - kids - by Naomi - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after doing vigorous chores all day with my girlfriend, her mom came and paid us each $100. My girlfriend cried and threw a fit because she said they were her chores, so she deserves all the money. FML

#20952303
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47648) - you deserved it (4274)

On 11/10/2013 at 3:03am - love - by Go away - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML

#20952236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45503) - you deserved it (4725)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by notgettinsome - Australia

Today, after working all week on a group project, I realized I forgot to submit the assignment and missed the deadline. I now have to tell my group that we automatically failed. FML

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62736) - you deserved it (4599)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43763) - you deserved it (10676)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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