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kimmi5

Offline (the 01/17/2015 at 9:36am) | Search for a member

kimmi5

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4588
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kimmi5 : I enjoy FML and read fmls during my down time. I usually don't comment ever. I like to keep to myself mostly. If I look a little young, the picture is not of me but of my little sister. Thanks for taking the time to read about me.

kimmi5's page activity

Visits<b>Fennex3</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:05pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:00pm<b>erichanoki</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 6:23pm<b>Shadowsin</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 4:21pm<b>olpally</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 1:16am<b>obeykiddsmalls</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 4:46pm<b>greaterdane</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 9:07am<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 9:55pm<b>allstarrider</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 5:27pm<b>PleasantDino</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 7:11am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:10am<b>xdadev</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:18am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 12:55pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 2:13pm<b>DissyDemon</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 11:53pm<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 10:33pm<b>fancypotato</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:26am<b>dmoran20</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 8:06pm

Fucked!<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 2:47am

kimmi5's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of kimmi5's badges

kimmi5's favorite FMLs

Today, while feeling sick, I decided to go to a furniture store to sit down for a few minutes. I'm now the proud owner of an expensive, vomit-stained recliner. FML

Today, I decided to confront my friend who has been stealing from me for months. She denied it, while wearing a pair of my pants. FML

#20959350
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45813) - you deserved it (4113)

On 11/16/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by CODgirl102 - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he thought he heard another guy in the room when he called me, and that I'm cheating on him. The guy he heard was a character from a cartoon my sister was watching. FML

#20958917
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40364) - you deserved it (3102)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to make what I thought was a pretzel recipe. I ended up eating cooked, egg-coated play dough. Literally, homemade Play-Doh. FML

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

#20957216
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49064) - you deserved it (2678)

On 11/14/2013 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54446) - you deserved it (3209)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48069) - you deserved it (12632)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML

Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML

#20954433
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38449) - you deserved it (2832)

On 11/11/2013 at 9:14pm - health - by myheadhurts (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55570) - you deserved it (4072)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41547) - you deserved it (3776)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML

#20952357
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51598) - you deserved it (4583)

On 11/10/2013 at 5:28am - kids - by Naomi - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after doing vigorous chores all day with my girlfriend, her mom came and paid us each $100. My girlfriend cried and threw a fit because she said they were her chores, so she deserves all the money. FML

#20952303
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47747) - you deserved it (4285)

On 11/10/2013 at 3:03am - love - by Go away - United States (Iowa)



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