About kimmaye : Bad shit happens, eventually, you get over it.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68948) - you deserved it (16887)
On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98719) - you deserved it (5180)
On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26623) - you deserved it (62221)
On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11802) - you deserved it (47250)
On 05/05/2009 at 11:41pm - intimacy - by JoeyDizz (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46785) - you deserved it (127915)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41007) - you deserved it (247392)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "you jerk! Why are you mocking her? She has tourettes you know!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40272) - you deserved it (32504)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:00pm - work - by Ricky (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23429) - you deserved it (67213)
On 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by svet (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (4882) - you deserved it (21631)
On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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