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Offline (the 12/02/2016 at 10:05am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2319
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About kimeatszombies : Vegetarian. Horror enthusiast. Skyrim addict. Professional cat petter.

kimeatszombies's page activity

Visits<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 1:17am<b>zingline89</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 2:01pm<b>GerardWaysWife</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 11:23pm<b>cuz803</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 6:16pm<b>madnessking</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 8:15am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 9:32pm<b>Livin_Like_Larry</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 8:16pm<b>Genius_Kitty</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 12:15am<b>warner69</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 4:39pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 4:39pm<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 11:21am<b>silentnick</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 1:48pm<b>6pointOhhh</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 11:47pm<b>emi_alejandra</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 6:16pm<b>TC2Flee</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 12:28am<b>jewbacca188</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 2:49pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 9:14am<b>PancakeSlap</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 12:57am

Fucked!<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 7:17am<b>cuz803</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 6:18am<b>MrGodface</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 6:51am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 8:37pm<b>USMC10Rex12451</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 4:52am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 1:39pm<b>droid1126</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 12:57am<b>Marelena20</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 7:59pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 6:32am<b>rhiley</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 6:28am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:54am<b>rogwest</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:41am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 2:07am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 1:51am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:35pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:50am<b>BWARD51</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 10:30pm<b>lawls79</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 9:15pm

kimeatszombies's FML badges

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One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of kimeatszombies's badges

kimeatszombies's favorite FMLs

Today, after years in a relationship I realized that my partner does not like the music I listen to, the food I cook, the pictures I take, the way I dress. The only thing she likes is when I take her out to eat. FML

by mymidlifecrisis / 09/08/2016 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got lost in Darkfall Passage in Skyrim and got so frustrated I turned off the game and cried. Thank you pregnancy hormones. FML

by SkyrimGamerMoM / 07/14/2016 at 3:49pm / United States (North Dakota) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had an employee come in 20 minutes late with the excuse, "There's a Pokemon gym across the street!" FML

by polemania / 07/11/2016 at 1:23am / United States / Work

Today, I had to rush my son to the ER after he ate a poisonous plant. He said the plant looked like one in Skyrim and he thought he'd get super powers from eating it. FML

by slim_breezy / 06/04/2016 at 3:41am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend let me stay over at her house for the first time. I went into her room only to find out she's obsessed with the Joker and has a bunch of posters and toys of him. I am deathly afraid of clowns. FML

by ScaredOfClowns / 12/31/2015 at 11:40am / United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove) / Love

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my father, who is not familiar with keyboards, had me register his new email account for him at the public library. His username choice? "Wang dang sweet poon tang". People heard. FML

by cassieleigh1 / 11/05/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after submitting my college application, I noticed that I mistyped "math enthusiast" as "meth enthusiast". FML

by RIPcareer / 10/18/2015 at 3:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2015 at 11:05am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I got in a fight about which is better: Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. We aren't speaking. FML

by amburrjade / 09/22/2015 at 1:18am / United States (Texas) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2015 at 1:56am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML

by RightInTheFace / 09/12/2015 at 12:16pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Health

Today, my boyfriend was putting baby powder on my bare ass, when his dad walked into the room, casually set a laundry basket next to the bed, and walked out like nothing happened. FML

by ManderDander / 09/05/2015 at 2:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a blind date with a friend of a friend. It went okay, so we exchanged numbers. An hour later, he started messaging me, asking for pictures of my poop. What.. the... hell? FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 2:31pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML

by Gonzales / 08/07/2015 at 3:47pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Intimacy