About kimeatszombies : Vegetarian. Horror enthusiast. Skyrim addict. Professional cat petter.
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kimeatszombies's favorite FMLs
by SkyrimGamerMoM / 07/14/2016 at 3:49pm / United States (North Dakota) / Geek
by polemania / 07/11/2016 at 1:23am / United States / Work
by slim_breezy / 06/04/2016 at 3:41am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend let me stay over at her house for the first time. I went into her room only to find out she's obsessed with the Joker and has a bunch of posters and toys of him. I am deathly afraid of clowns. FML
by ScaredOfClowns / 12/31/2015 at 11:40am / United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by cassieleigh1 / 11/05/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by RIPcareer / 10/18/2015 at 3:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2015 at 11:05am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy
by amburrjade / 09/22/2015 at 1:18am / United States (Texas) / Geek
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2015 at 1:56am / United States / Intimacy
by RightInTheFace / 09/12/2015 at 12:16pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Health
by ManderDander / 09/05/2015 at 2:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 2:31pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Gonzales / 08/07/2015 at 3:47pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
by shmarf / 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
- Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I’m on vacation in Japan. Hungry, I went to a restaurant. Looking at photos of the food, I… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…