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kimeatszombies

Offline (yesterday at 7:27pm) | Search for a member

kimeatszombies

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 131
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About kimeatszombies : I like cats.

kimeatszombies's page activity

Visits<b>S232Flash</b> - yesterday at 9:31pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:09pm<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 2:34am<b>andy594328</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:04am<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:33am<b>cheshirecat13242</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 3:28am<b>guckylynn</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 10:04pm<b>Croash</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 5:41pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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kimeatszombies's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40304) - you deserved it (7693)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42271) - you deserved it (4401)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43253) - you deserved it (7017)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

#21224768
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41265) - you deserved it (4497)

On 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by WasntWorthIt - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#21182128
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48286) - you deserved it (8266)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

#21154464
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46607) - you deserved it (5592)

On 05/28/2014 at 10:21am - love - by needanotherbed - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

#21118643
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48251) - you deserved it (7036)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Iowa)

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43195) - you deserved it (6291)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42726) - you deserved it (6408)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

#21095894
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41028) - you deserved it (4964)

On 03/25/2014 at 7:36am - misc - by disappointed - United States (North Dakota)

Today, while we were having sex, my boyfriend asked me, "Who's your daddy?" I actually started thinking about my father. Total buzzkill. FML

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39494) - you deserved it (8096) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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