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kimeatszombies

Offline (the 08/24/2015 at 5:26am) | Search for a member

kimeatszombies

68Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 817
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About kimeatszombies : Vegetarian. Horror enthusiast. Skyrim addict. Professional cat petter.

kimeatszombies's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 9:21am<b>d4rp4nn</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 12:04am<b>MrKilgore</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 2:10am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 1:03am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 8:49pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 5:26pm<b>Lionel2174</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 2:23pm<b>bridges13</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 9:51am<b>zjay</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 9:34pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 10:39pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 6:49pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 6:24pm<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 11:16pm<b>madnessking</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 6:10pm<b>PancakeSlap</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 3:48am<b>kjlancaster</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 2:13pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 2:00pm<b>43bubba34</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:59am

Fucked!<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 7:03am<b>bridges13</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:51pm<b>43bubba34</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 3:00pm<b>gmax</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 10:42am<b>DumbAndYoung</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 7:52am<b>davered89</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:52pm<b>acevango</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:32pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 11:31am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:32pm<b>ale1139</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:27pm<b>logans_weird</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:56am<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:40am<b>julia_adamec</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:04am<b>jensbae</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 4:48am<b>Shemp_5</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:10pm<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:08pm<b>mxgirl1998</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:19pm<b>slick175</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:46pm

kimeatszombies's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of kimeatszombies's badges

kimeatszombies's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML

#21453197
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (4227)

On 08/07/2015 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by Gonzales (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30152) - you deserved it (12394)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick our son up from daycare. His excuse? Fighting in a battle in World of Warcraft was far more important and he had to stay absolutely focused. Our son had to wait for two hours. FML

#21424976
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29117) - you deserved it (4519)

On 06/12/2015 at 12:51pm - misc - by poor baby - Germany

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32642) - you deserved it (7090)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

#21401833
101 comments

Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML

#21390758
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29545) - you deserved it (5116)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:24pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

#21381305
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30535) - you deserved it (4359)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34061) - you deserved it (6992)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, my dad turned off our cable. The reason? His favorite character from The Walking Dead died. FML

#21375425
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33038) - you deserved it (3333)

On 03/16/2015 at 12:37am - misc - by jfields2474 - United States (California)

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34283) - you deserved it (4237)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36859) - you deserved it (7268)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48471) - you deserved it (13604)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

#21309384
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27897) - you deserved it (7548)

On 12/01/2014 at 11:38am - misc - by WickedLittleDoll - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40574) - you deserved it (18365)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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