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kimberlayyyyy's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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kimberlayyyyy's favorite FMLs
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals
by SierraDiaz2097 / 03/23/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
by ldn / 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 03/20/2013 at 1:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML
by um... maybe / 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 1:06am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/24/2013 at 2:17am / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML
by maybe dead in a day / 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Love
Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML
by poohanne / 01/12/2013 at 1:36am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…