kilullu

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Offline (the 02/16/2014 at 3:27am)

kilullu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4998
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About kilullu : Hi ya! I'm a fun, outgoing individual who enjoys the company of my beautiful, amazing friends. I'm also happy and fun!

kilullu's page activity

Visits<b>2simz</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 4:00pm<b>_Gemini_</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 2:03am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 11:50pm<b>Smeedz</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:01pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:30pm<b>aspenmoon</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 2:27am<b>camogirl2249</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 1:52am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:40am<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 11:44am<b>LebanonBaby</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:17pm<b>MasterCheif456</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:15am<b>RicanDucky</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 3:16pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 6:50am<b>cat_marie</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:28am<b>ylime23456</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:08pm<b>mydadpulledout</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 11:21am<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 3:23am<b>dcisecurite</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:35am

Fucked!<b>dcisecurite</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 6:36am

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kilullu's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2014 at 11:15am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

by anon / 06/21/2014 at 8:50am / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

by legitfile.bat.virus.exe / 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

by Alex / 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Kids

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I got a very serious case of the shits while in the middle of trying to close a sale, and had to run to the bathroom. My coworker picked up the sale, stealing all the commission in the process. FML

by shudson186 / 06/10/2014 at 8:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my nineteen year old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2014 at 4:06pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Kids

Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML

by Screwed / 06/07/2014 at 9:31am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

by help me / 06/01/2014 at 11:51am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

by half-dead in CA / 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

by get a grip, son / 05/30/2014 at 4:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my psycho, animal-hating neighbour "accidentally" ran over my cat. This is the second time he's "accidentally" done this to a neighbourhood pet since he moved in, three weeks ago. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2014 at 1:28pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my wife's cat ran away. After spending a lot of money making "Lost Cat" flyers and driving around for hours passing them out and searching for her cat, he walked downstairs. FML

by PsychoBillyGoat / 05/25/2014 at 8:47pm / United States (Alaska) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.