killfxckeat

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killfxckeat

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 September 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1300
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About killfxckeat : I got skeletons in my closet and a full stomach.

killfxckeat's page activity

Visits<b>swaddison</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 3:09am<b>black_day</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 8:33am<b>thrasher590</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:45pm<b>nicktrelos</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:39pm<b>Ninjin1986</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 12:57pm<b>justSTOPx100</b> - the 08/24/2011 at 11:40am<b>sexymessy</b> - the 07/03/2009 at 5:36am<b>Mozart24</b> - the 06/29/2009 at 8:09am<b>exile529</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 5:27pm<b>Kels522</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 3:32am<b>iamparm</b> - the 04/15/2009 at 9:17pm<b>SpikezZz</b> - the 04/11/2009 at 6:31pm<b>Krow</b> - the 04/10/2009 at 9:29pm<b>bexox</b> - the 04/10/2009 at 6:19pm<b>DizzyDemon0</b> - the 04/06/2009 at 4:02pm<b>hot_dog_vendor</b> - the 04/06/2009 at 12:28am<b>ijkl0marissa</b> - the 04/05/2009 at 10:45pm<b>fillmyheart028</b> - the 04/05/2009 at 8:01pm

killfxckeat's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

killfxckeat's favorite FMLs

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2009 at 12:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I had to log in to my computer on a projector in front of business associates at my dad's architecture firm. I typed in my username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough, so I typed my password in the username box. The entire firm now knows my password is "tits123". FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I was at QuickTrip. As I was leaving, I passed a woman who was saying "stay" very sternly through her open driver's side door. I smiled as I passed, saying "Your dog wants to follow you huh? I've been there." She glared at me and said "No. That's my son. He's mentally challenged." FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2009 at 7:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

by SLA / 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I met this really attractive guy who introduced himself as Wyan. He was really cool and sweet and we got along pretty well. Then someone informed me that his name is Ryan and that he has a speech impediment, AFTER I had been referring to him as Wyan for quite some time. FML

by hellosaila / 02/27/2009 at 2:58am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

by Morgan / 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids