About killerxdeagles : I'm a gamer on xbox live love to party and be outdoors. I also love to make guns. I want to be a cop
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Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21433) - you deserved it (1960)
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8558) - you deserved it (66046)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45072) - you deserved it (2145)
On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16050) - you deserved it (4643)
On 12/01/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Hot Pants (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, a policeman and me confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31213) - you deserved it (1618)
On 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm - animals - by Stalked (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17984) - you deserved it (59638)
On 11/13/2011 at 8:11pm - misc - by honeybadger123 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10043) - you deserved it (22479)
On 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27758) - you deserved it (2869)
On 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by tech_support (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29935) - you deserved it (3008)
Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31844) - you deserved it (9877)
On 09/23/2011 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12726) - you deserved it (27007)
On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21927) - you deserved it (1040)
On 09/10/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by bluestarr1 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I asked my daughter what time it was. She stared at the clock for several seconds before muttering, "I don't know". She's 14 years old and on the honour roll, and yet she can't tell the time on an analogue clock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20899) - you deserved it (8449)
On 07/01/2011 at 7:12pm - kids - by sadmother (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37615) - you deserved it (6584)
On 06/19/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by stillAvirgin:( - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36785) - you deserved it (3515)
On 06/03/2011 at 6:17am - intimacy - by peaaaak (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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