About killerxdeagles : I'm a gamer on xbox live love to party and be outdoors. I also love to make guns. I want to be a cop
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Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33525) - you deserved it (3016)
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10883) - you deserved it (31397)
On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)
Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26475) - you deserved it (2973)
On 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36620) - you deserved it (3707)
On 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm - health - by hannaaaahr (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43729) - you deserved it (7692)
On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23505) - you deserved it (4495)
On 12/29/2011 at 10:48am - health - by OH COME ON (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11506) - you deserved it (26287)
On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25183) - you deserved it (6978)
On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa
Today, I found out that my father has taken my copy of Modern Warfare 3, and re-wrapped it as a Christmas present. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21229) - you deserved it (2346)
On 12/21/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by tacoboy27 - United States (California)
Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23604) - you deserved it (4155)
On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16578) - you deserved it (4155)
On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26169) - you deserved it (11676)
On 12/18/2011 at 5:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (2020)
On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33918) - you deserved it (2174)
On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)
Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23341) - you deserved it (2065)
On 12/13/2011 at 12:33pm - work - by microtech - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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