About killerxdeagles : I'm a gamer on xbox live love to party and be outdoors. I also love to make guns. I want to be a cop
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Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27725) - you deserved it (3178)
On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - love - by un_christmas - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28719) - you deserved it (3219)
On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)
Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31419) - you deserved it (1806)
On 12/24/2012 at 10:20pm - misc - by Julie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64158) - you deserved it (15789)
On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29889) - you deserved it (4043)
On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34230) - you deserved it (16290)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37427) - you deserved it (6430)
On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7772) - you deserved it (22004)
On 12/23/2012 at 5:24pm - misc - by you fuckhobbit (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32553) - you deserved it (8442)
On 12/23/2012 at 12:52pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26779) - you deserved it (13108)
On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)
Today, I started my first day of work at our local humane society. I asked where the break room was, so my coworker directed me to a small room in the back of the building. The only place I get to take my lunch break is the same room where they euthanize, freeze and cremate the animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18531) - you deserved it (5838)
On 12/21/2012 at 9:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29596) - you deserved it (2075)
On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16500) - you deserved it (2771)
On 03/14/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12477) - you deserved it (4175)
On 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm - work - by Simms (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30210) - you deserved it (3836)
On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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