About killerxdeagles : I'm a gamer on xbox live love to party and be outdoors. I also love to make guns. I want to be a cop
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Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9351) - you deserved it (35034)
On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26582) - you deserved it (1397)
On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -
Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9967) - you deserved it (30467)
On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States
Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43009) - you deserved it (3349)
On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)
Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32510) - you deserved it (5362)
On 01/02/2013 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45185) - you deserved it (3465)
On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23924) - you deserved it (7959)
On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I woke up to a small fire on my roof, burning up small twigs and branches. The cause? Last night, I threw a sparkling firecracker up very high, only to have it blown onto my roof by the wind. It's going to take $2,000 to fix the damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6831) - you deserved it (34299)
On 01/01/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found my dogs freezing outside. My neighbor was supposed to watch them while I was away, and on my way home I called to let her know she should let them have a quick walk. She thought I'd be home soon enough that she wouldn't have to let them back in. It was minus 10c out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28995) - you deserved it (3314)
Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29862) - you deserved it (2761)
On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24259) - you deserved it (1981)
On 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)
Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39081) - you deserved it (2495)
On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24824) - you deserved it (3855)
On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14326) - you deserved it (28153)
On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, a stranger was kind enough to plow my driveway during a blizzard. However, they were not kind enough to leave their number after plowing the front end of my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21722) - you deserved it (1585)
On 12/30/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by imcold - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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