About killerxdeagles : I'm a gamer on xbox live love to party and be outdoors. I also love to make guns. I want to be a cop
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Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23077) - you deserved it (15214)
On 03/14/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by WildaRora (woman) - Australia
Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22405) - you deserved it (3487)
On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27981) - you deserved it (3647)
On 03/13/2013 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38720) - you deserved it (16900)
On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8118) - you deserved it (32821) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25632) - you deserved it (1369)
On 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33520) - you deserved it (7833)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27415) - you deserved it (6839)
On 02/21/2013 at 3:46am - intimacy - by pornhastaughtmenothing - United States (Washington)
Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8281) - you deserved it (25176)
On 02/21/2013 at 12:51am - love - by tomedicalforlove -
Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25775) - you deserved it (3245)
On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you deserved it (9720)
On 02/20/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by its ok to cheat!? - United States (California)
Today, the people living below me have been blasting their music so loudly that I can hear every word as clear as day. The people next door think it's my music and feel the need to bang on the wall and blast their music just as loudly in revenge. I have two very important exams tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28461) - you deserved it (1984)
Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (2043)
On 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm - love - by ? - United States (California)
Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18650) - you deserved it (5849)
On 02/20/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by kryan012 - United States (Georgia)
Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22814) - you deserved it (5391)
On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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