killer6969

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Offline (the 10/23/2015 at 12:59am)

killer6969

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Pickering, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 916
  • Number of comments : 85
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About killer6969 : Love:
Reading
Writing
Laughing at someone else's pain
Hate:
Hoes
Stupid people
People that can't spell for shit
Pure bullshit

killer6969's page activity

Visits<b>RetroGameNinja</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 11:29am<b>ItzMarsh</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:21pm<b>shay72014</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:05pm<b>dat_becky</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:37pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 12:58pm<b>kittyisbaeornaw</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 9:58pm<b>nezumii</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:55am<b>LJraddy</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:14am<b>Myo</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:44am<b>Janetemokid</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 3:36am<b>StevoKing666</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:39pm<b>mephist0pheles</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 8:18am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 6:26pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 8:34pm<b>Allegretto</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:03pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 4:18pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 5:52am<b>aklm15</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 4:45pm

killer6969's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of killer6969's badges

killer6969's favorite FMLs

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whiskey, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML

by Angus / 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm / France / Kids

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

by -_____- / 07/31/2013 at 5:23pm / Netherlands / Intimacy

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

by PrettyScared / 07/29/2013 at 11:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

by Dirty_Mind_69 / 07/20/2013 at 4:35am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

by but i make different stiffies / 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

by Dimples / 01/03/2013 at 6:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy