Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

killabee

Search for a member

killabee

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3875
  • Number of comments : 234
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About killabee : I am the hero this city needs, I am....The Coon.

killabee's page activity

Visits<b>Supaviper</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:20am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 11:54pm<b>fangirlofthings</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 3:35pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 8:44am<b>amburrjade</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 1:11pm<b>Dalboz</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 12:02am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 10:30am<b>duduv2</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 12:23am<b>ladyofdeath13</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 12:58am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:07pm<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:39am<b>Saso</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 9:59pm<b>Generic_Toaster</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 3:14am<b>Furby94</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 5:03pm<b>bryanjamieluke</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:02pm<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 12:52am<b>jezzilla</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 8:55pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:10am

Fucked!<b>ladyofdeath13</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 6:58am

killabee's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

killabee's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

#15012596
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38442) - you deserved it (4099)

On 02/17/2011 at 3:08am - health - by clashgurl8449 -

Today, I printed out a picture of the popular girl in school as a sort of 'model' for how I wanted my hair cut. The hairdresser taped the picture to the mirror so he could see. Halfway through, my 'model' came in for an appointment. FML

#14993879
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32109) - you deserved it (21389)

On 02/15/2011 at 8:34pm - misc - by nerdychick (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML

#14934394
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27682) - you deserved it (3356)

On 02/11/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, after a huge heartbreak and a night of crying, I wake up to an empty house. I go in the kitchen to make breakfast and see a note on the counter saying "We heard you crying last night and didn't want to hear you complaining this morning, so we went to the mall. -Mom" FML

#14895293
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40303) - you deserved it (8078)

On 02/08/2011 at 12:21pm - love - by heartbroken - United States

Today, my girlfriend sent me a naked picture of herself and I wish she hadn't. FML

#2955411
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31757) - you deserved it (77382)

On 06/16/2009 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by MisterSeth (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102830) - you deserved it (21867)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

#2769644
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77810) - you deserved it (7110)

On 06/10/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by superman_not (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I finally confessed to the guy I've liked for 2 years. I told him that I've really liked him for a long time and that I knew he had a girlfriend and I didn't expect anything from him, I just wanted him to know. His response: "Are you done? 'Cause I need to go to the bathroom." FML

#2749071
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53429) - you deserved it (16510)

On 06/09/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by ohwell (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93378) - you deserved it (243483)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45587) - you deserved it (153935)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
547 comments

I agree, your life sucks (228857) - you deserved it (25213)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: