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kileyrose1

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kileyrose1

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  • Number of visits : 24
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kileyrose1's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26590) - you deserved it (11009)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML

#17925630
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32615) - you deserved it (1964)

On 10/07/2011 at 1:55am - work - by bdjsbskl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32859) - you deserved it (9225)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

#17639709
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (4182)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm - animals - by macattack (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML

#17283376
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29405) - you deserved it (2866)

On 07/28/2011 at 2:18am - animals - by Tali (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
509 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131941) - you deserved it (7352)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12648) - you deserved it (57919)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

#15942316
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28191) - you deserved it (3801)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72612) - you deserved it (5889)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML

#14596150
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35180) - you deserved it (7640)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

#5607225
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7968) - you deserved it (66113)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend called me at work and offered to take me out to lunch. When he went to pay for the meal, his card was declined so I told him not to worry and that I would pay for the birthday meal. He looked at me and said "It's your birthday?" He was serious. FML

#5565703
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33302) - you deserved it (3064)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Rockyio (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53273) - you deserved it (19920)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)



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