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kilerbugs

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kilerbugs

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  • Number of visits : 759
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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kilerbugs's page activity

Visits<b>jeremyesgirl</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 1:28pm<b>overslept</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 11:50pm

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kilerbugs's favorite FMLs

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

#21268173
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28529) - you deserved it (3478) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/29/2014 at 11:08pm - kids - by super maman - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36118) - you deserved it (11161)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

#21251846
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40503) - you deserved it (8117)

On 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by candy man - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43405) - you deserved it (5264)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45006) - you deserved it (7572)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 24-year-old, unemployed brother stole all of my food money and went out with his friends. His punishment from our parents? He has to pay me back when he gets a job. My stomach has to wait. FML

#21241750
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40048) - you deserved it (2587)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:59pm - money - by HungryStudent (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43531) - you deserved it (16273)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40826) - you deserved it (8362) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I complained to my two roommates about housework not being done. They both put their hands over their ears and started screaming at the top of their voice. They do this pretty much whenever I say anything to them. FML

#21238842
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39573) - you deserved it (4878)

On 08/16/2014 at 8:10am - misc - by Jenn (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43265) - you deserved it (4171)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47283) - you deserved it (5522)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

#21232452
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35993) - you deserved it (5962)

On 08/08/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by freakedout (woman) - United States

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44878) - you deserved it (6917)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39657) - you deserved it (13864)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52986) - you deserved it (6395)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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