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kikyophoenix

Offline (the 04/26/2014 at 5:21am) | Search for a member

kikyophoenix

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 April 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 106
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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kikyophoenix's page activity

Visits<b>BrodieMike</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 4:10pm

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kikyophoenix's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57412) - you deserved it (7983)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42182) - you deserved it (5616)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42540) - you deserved it (4399)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56908) - you deserved it (4377)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51034) - you deserved it (5909)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41328) - you deserved it (3756)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

#21180887
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45342) - you deserved it (4712)

On 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm - love - by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52391) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML

#21176055
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45754) - you deserved it (4312)

On 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm - work - by Godhelpme (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML

#21175899
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43705) - you deserved it (4927)

On 06/15/2014 at 8:21pm - work - by caleighrossi - United States (Iowa)

Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML

#21175491
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46097) - you deserved it (4205)

On 06/15/2014 at 2:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to spend my last $50 on gas, since I get paid in 5 days. I paid for the gas and stepped into the restroom briefly. I came out, only to discover that the attendant had put the gas on the wrong pump, and someone had used it for themselves. My tank is empty. FML

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46174) - you deserved it (22800)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom found out that I've been having counselling behind her back for the past 4 years. I broke down in tears explaining everything. Her response was, "So you go and bitch about me behind my back?!" And she wonders why I'm depressed. FML

#21174174
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48378) - you deserved it (5121)

On 06/14/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML

#21173916
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46933) - you deserved it (4470)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:56pm - misc - by -_- (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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