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kikibrowm

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  • Number of visits : 1402
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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kikibrowm's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to Burger King. I was sipping the drink and put it on my window sill to save for later. I fell asleep, and when I woke up my mouth was dry. I took a sip and felt something go into my mouth. Thinking it was an ice cube, I bit down on it. It was not an ice cube. It was a cockroach. FML

Today, I adopted a dog from the local shelter. I put the dog in the car and he was shedding everywhere, but I was ok with that because he was my dog. As I pulled into the parking lot, the dog began to poop in the backseat of my car. When I got him out of the car, he ran off. $100 for him to poop and run away. FML

#2097800
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41503) - you deserved it (9344)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:17pm - animals - by Debra2005 - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I was straight. She looked at me and said "Well, that's really up to you honey. But your father and I would still love you." I was asking if she thought I had parked straight. FML

#1625172
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49036) - you deserved it (11548)

On 05/04/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35606) - you deserved it (93010)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12497) - you deserved it (69317)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I was walking into CVS, two older men outside said to me "Young lady, please consider us on your way out." Thinking they were hitting on me, I rolled my eyes and said "Screw you." When I walked back outside, I realized they were asking for AIDS donations. FML

#912798
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8468) - you deserved it (78208)

On 04/11/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML

#819596
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80105) - you deserved it (5739)

On 04/05/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by brizzle (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML

#574471
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (253229) - you deserved it (42912)

On 03/24/2009 at 11:41am - love - by Kaeyne (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
878 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60358) - you deserved it (632179)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my friend's house. While she went to the kitchen, I noticed a little pink pastry on her desk. It looked really good, so I decided to take a bite before she got back. As I bit into it, a sizzling noise started, and foam overflowed in my mouth. It was a bath bomb. FML

#458793
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10214) - you deserved it (91277)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by skywayavenue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

#407679
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21686) - you deserved it (57841)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Noname - United States (Washington)



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